Over the last few months there has been so much happening around me and in the world that can raises questions on how we can face the challenges that come our way. Members of my family have faced the joy of the birth of a new daughter only to have the devastation of a cyclone impact on their home, their business and their community. We were in Paris at the time a policeman was killed on the Champs Elysees, and then there was the awful situation in Manchester where people were killed at a concert by a suicide bomber. It would be easy to be dismayed and paralysed by all of this sadness. I was privileged to have a dinner with Tim Costello, advocate World Vision, on Wednesday night. He has been a mayor, a Baptist minister, an author, the CEO of World Vision. He has always been a leader I have admired and he has helped me navigate many difficult times in my own life. He has authored a book called "Hope". His ultimate belief in the difference an individual can make in the world is an important reminder for us all. He reminds me of the "purpose ladder" that can run beside the "career ladder". He also reminded us on the importance to all of us on the importance of belonging. Many issues arise when we lose our sense of place.To me family gives me such a strong sense of my place.
It does not matter what we may be facing on any given day. The sun does rise in the morning. We just have to get through the night. This is easier said than done when we feel overwhelmed and challenged by choices we may have to make. What is important is always to know what is important to us. Our own purpose. This will help guide and give us strength. This morning I was reminded that you can search far a field and the beauty can be right where you are. I went to Bulli to support my husband in the Bulli Burn. 5 minutes from our home was the most spectacular sunrise and sun rays over the beach. I truly felt lucky and blessed. I no longer felt aggrieved about getting up at 5.30am on a Sunday morning after a tough week. Instead I was there supporting the most important man in my life and watching the sun come up. A sense of place and purpose!
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On the Eve of International Womens Day I am pausing to reflect on how women become strong and independent. I am convinced the choices we make along our journey is critical. I am very proud of my daughter and the difference she is making already early in her career as a Psychologist. I watch her make choices about how she lives her life and how she stays true to her passions, loyal to those that matter to her. It is nearly a year since her marriage to her best friend. Choosing to wear purple tango shoes under her wedding dress summed up the statement she wanted to make about the life she was choosing. She wanted to be herself - independent but committing to a partner for life. I know that part of the strength she has comes from the constant focus Michael and I have had on our own relationship and how we work to understand each others needs. Through good and tough times. His willingness over the years to not only "help out" in parenting and household commitments but to really embrace this as a shared responsibility. Do we have expectations at home as well as work to ensure equality for both partners? This focus has ensured I could pursue the choice of my career and education. Interestingly he sees that this has also contributed to him feeling equality as a parent. Knowing Michael was by my side no matter how tough the going became, even when the workplace in the 80's and 90's often made me feel isolated and different. Not just because of my gender, but the difference of my career background, socioeconomic status. All that come together to make up who I am. His encouragement and strength gave me the strength to be me. Maybe I didn't wear purple tango shoes at our wedding but the greatest choice I made was my partner for life. This, combined with embracing opportunities at work, no matter how scary, when they presented has ensured every choice I make has contributed to my strength personally and professionally #BeBoldForChange
Over the last few months I have heard constantly how time is flying by and people can't believe it is September already. In 3 months Christmas will be here. I do wonder if by constantly focusing on time we forget to experience the special moments in life. Think about it. Most of us now have several devices with us constantly that remind us of our calendar and the time of the day! I reflected on this yesterday . Michael and I made the most of a beautiful spring day and spent time walking between the lookouts on the Illawarra Escarpment. We left our phones and watches behind. We marvelled at such spectacular views over our village of Austinmer. We smiled at the sign identifying an hour to walk to Austinmer. Measuring this walk by time rather than what we could see,smell, or hear . Valuing the richness of the conversation we could have with each other without distractions of the busyness of life. What a waste we only measured the walk by time! Lets start to think of qualitative measures of the life we are living rather than the quantitative measure of time.
During Vivid 2016 I watched the Opera House change to a magnificent canvas for 6 Indigenous Artists with constantly changing images. It was vibrant and fascinating. This image was by Karla Dickens a Wiradjuri woman. The artists worked together to create a display of Songlines. It told the story of personal journeys of different clans. All who have faced so much change but hold on dearly to their culture. As I moved through the last month I spoke with many people facing change, faced into so much change personally and heard of constant change in the world both politically, technologically and economically.The largest of this change was the announcement last night of Britain voting to exit the EU.
I reflected on the change we all face - small and large. Sometimes actively chosen and sometimes the change is forced upon us. Change can be accepted and used as an opportunity to create a strength within us. Or it can create a need in us to resist the change. It takes a lot of energy to reject the change and often disables us emotionally. Focusing on change as an opportunity to learn and adapt can strengthen us emotionally. It can create energy through seeing things differently and actively having to challenge our own beliefs , actions and behaviours in a changed context. For me the constancy of family and very good friends has helped me navigate positive and negative change and maintain a level of happiness. Sometimes we can lose our way and we need to really think about what matters to us. Working on a personal purpose can help navigate through what matters. For me I realise my thread of my life in helping myself and others to understand and adapt through change is a signature trait and something that creates true meaning for me. It was important to me when I was a Therapist helping those who had lost limbs to recover and adapt to life as an amputee, it was important when I moved to Safety Consulting working with manufacturers who were changing processes, products and locations and using these as catalysts to prevent injuries and as important in my career in Insurance as we help communities recover after natural disasters. Personally I love learning and adapting even when I find some change so fast it creates fear inside of me. I break down what is true, what is myth and my own self talk limiting me, how can I adapt and then I always come through stronger than before. It is never easy but it does help create personal strength. For us to stay relevant in a changing world we need to take personal responsibility to adapt. Early this morning I was waiting for a colleague to make his journey from Manly so we could catch up for breakfast. I had the rare privilege of having 15 minutes to myself, time to watch everything around me. To really se.
2015 was year of being mindful to balance personal , professional and family goals and priorities as we navigated through so many different challenges and opportunities. I am not sure I was always successful! However, I did try.
In December I was speechless and was overwhelmed when I was recognised as NZ Herald Business Leader of the Year. In my view, personal recognition for leadership is a difficult thing to accept as my success comes from the support and efforts of my family , friends and colleagues. It is not a solo achievement. Thank you to all of you who provide support and guidance in so many ways. I accepted the recognition in the spirit it was made and feel truly honoured to be recognised in a country I have come to love so much. The recognition came at the time when I had come to realise that after 5 years it was time for IAG NZ to benefit from a new leader , for me to transition to a new role within IAG and for Michael and I to move back to Australia. I remain committed to our NZ team and communities and am lucky enough to be able to stay connected through my broader role within IAG. As I navigate through through this transition I realise how trite it sounds when we convince people that "change is a constant" . Actually when you reflect through history this has always been the case but technological advances has meant we live in a more connected world. What this means for me is that it becomes harder and harder to be less distracted and be in the moment. Towards the end of 2015 as I was facing so many demands on my time I was physically and emotionally exhausted. I gain incredible support and energy from my work , my broader role as an IAG Executive, my extended family and friends,my personal commitment to my own health and fitness and the excitement of planning Kirsten and Matts wedding in March but it is a lot to juggle. All really good things but exhausting. I decided to accept my own silent personal challenge and have a "technology detox" over the Christmas break. I am pleased to say that I survived! Of course having a family holiday in Antarctica for 2 weeks helped me go "cold turkey". This experience helped me realise how the constant multi tasking and connectedness can stop you seeing what is right in front of you. I have never felt more connected to my world and to my family than on our Antarctica Expedition. I am sure that giving myself permission to lessen the distractions as I reflected will help me face 2016 with renewed energy and focus. This can only be good for all those around me. I look forward to the opportunities and challenges of 2016. Happy New Year! It has been a busy 2 months both personally and professionally. The reoccurring theme for my reflections is the importance of how accountability and responsibility work together to get a result. It can make a difference between winning and losing , growing and thriving as a person or stagnating, making a difference in the world or draining our resources. My first story starts with this years Rugby World Cup. The All Blacks are now back to back winners and it has been a real learning watching their progress as a team. As adopted kiwis we have now lived through two Rugby World Cups. This year was a little more challenging for us as the Wallabies and All Blacks played in the finals. We were lucky enough to be staying with our good friends, the Sweeneys, at Piha. Our commitment to Rugby saw us up early snuggled in blankets cheering on our teams. It was a great win by the All Blacks. I reflected on their comments throughout the competition. The comments that impacted most for me was when they beat France to secure their place in the semi finals - they had won by 28. Many teams would have been celebrating at this point. What struck me was the calmness and ultimate responsibility Richie McCaw , the captain , took to reflect on the teams goals. " All this has done is earned us another week . The job is not yet done.". Of course the NZ public had assigned great accountability through their expectations. There are not many countries where your groceries turn the colours of the team . Milk was packaged in black bottles with the team numbers prominent on the bottles, weet bix were packaged in black tins and so it when on. To me a great example of a team being held to account but the winning formula turned out to be the responsibility each team member took to get the job done. The ultimate quote by Steve Hansen , the coach, after their win in the finals was "worry is a wasted emotion". Once again a clear signal of how winners really take responsibility for their actions and emotions. They don't need others to hold them to account.
An example a little closer to home is Michael, my husband, and his commitment to his own health and personal growth. He set himself the goal of completing his Masters in Indigenous Health and two duathlon events this year. A sport he has never done before. I have admired the responsibility he has taken to complete his assignments so he can graduate next year and to improve his fitness and identify what it would take to compete in a duathlon. He completed his final assignments despite busy work schedules and supporting my crazy schedule. He also finished his second duathlon last week. It was a great achievement. It was a clear example of the importance of taking responsibility to define your goal and then creating daily habits that will get you closer. He had no one holding him to account , he took full responsibility to learn, adapt and face the challenges I am very proud of his strength and commitment. I am also very grateful for his support . It is his love and commitment that allows me to be the person I am. He holds me to account to be the best I can and in turn I take personal responsibility to be clear about our goals together, my personal goals and we face every day together creating habits that will ensure we achieve individually and as a couple. We can hold each other to account but at the end of the day it is our personal responsibility to do what really matters to achieve our goals. Sometimes it takes having a day with your Dad to help you realise the importance of not taking yourself too seriously and to enjoy the moment. This year for Fathers Day Mum and Dad came over to visit us in NZ. As a special treat I organised a day in Wellington so Michael and Dad could enjoy the Gallipoli display at Te Papa. It was an early morning flight and Dad was thrilled to hear we where on the very last flight of the 737. The crew were a little emotional as they explained the years they had been flying on the plane. I guess we all get attached to things and this is what makes change so difficult.
The Gallipoli exhibition was amazing and I would highly recommend it. It was put together in collaboration with Weta. We also enjoyed walking along the waterfront and talking about historical facts that Dad could recall and how it related to what we were seeing in Wellington. I love how Dad and Michael enjoy each others company. Both very good fathers to their daughters. Both have helped create strong women, who through our strength can be there for others but also recover from disappointments and set backs that we experience. We went to the Weta Cave and Dad and Michael both had fun playing with the trolls. Laughter certainly is a good tonic! We ended the day with Dad feeling special because he got to go into the Koru Lounge. Something that I take for granted in my hurry of business travel. Seeing it through Dads eyes helped me see what care Air NZ take of all of us as we exhaust ourselves through constant travel. There is nothing like spending a day with your Dad to remember who you area nd where you came from. Thank you Michael and Dad for being such great Dads. As I have written before , parenthood is a role I am most proud of. A beautiful moment last night. Kirsten and I had both, individually, had a really busy day in Sydney. I had faced investment analysts and media regarding the annual results and the challenges related to the NZ Earthquake recovery and Kirsten had been at a conference for Working Memory. Before heading home for the evening we decided to grab a meal at a Thai restaurant in Sydney. I was exhausted both mentally and physically but knew Kirsten loves every opportunity to catch up. So do I. Sitting together Kirsten was very animated about the conference she had attended on Working Memory and how the conference had helped her think through how to make a difference in engaging with children, teachers and parents. I reflected with her that the learnings she had gained were pertinent to so many situations. Apparently we can only pay attention fully for an average time of 8.25 seconds! it explains a lot about what people remember from meetings!
We were so engrossed in our conversation together we didn't notice the lady sitting next to us eating her dinner. As I was paying for the meal the lady that had been sitting next to us pulled me aside and asked whether we were mother and daughter. I answered yes, wondering where the conversation was going. She explained that she was a Teacher and a Psychologist and had found our conversation fascinating and informative. However what was most wonderful is she went on to say that she had watched us with fascination as she had never seen a mother and daughter out for diner together really listening and actively engaging like we were and that she had noticed we didn't check our phones or appear distracted from each other. As I meditated this morning I started to wonder if the distractions we face in the modern world has resulted in a lower ability to concentrate and really be in the moment. Does it make us chase what we don't have , missing out on what we have right in front of us? Driving us to make poorly informed and poorly judged decisions? Working memory is an essential cognitive function for us staying focused, blocking distractions and staying the course with an activity or goal. If you think about it innately many species can do this. When we were recently in Bali on our family holiday we visited the Turtle Conservation and Research Centre . The centre is bringing together science, tourism, conservation and education to help the endangered turtles . Turtles are still laying eggs along the beaches despite the eggs being taken before the turtles hatch. This is where the habit that has been formed is to the detriment of the species. The turtle population is in serious decline. The locals are being encouraged to collect them not to eat or use for other purposes but to bring them to the centre so the turtles can hatch and be raised until released into the ocean. Kirsten adopted a turtle and released it into the ocean. We just hope the little turtle had good working memory so it concentrated for more than 8.25 seconds to safely get out to sea! It is hard to believe 25 years ago Kirsten came into the world. After a dream pregnancy she arrived 5 weeks prematurely , with a 4 hour labour but unfortunately had a struggle for the first few weeks as she recovered from Hyaline Membrane Disease. We have a lot to be thankful for. The Paediatrician and the Rescue helicopter that ensured she got to the right neonatal intensive care unit has meant that a beautiful, smart and caring woman is now in the world. Kirsten has always loved an adventure and doesn't like to wait for anything. This is her signature trait. I watch her and see many of my qualities in her and yet so many of Michael's as well. I guess if she has the best of both of us she will continue to be an amazing gift to all of us that are blessed by being around her. I do believe that becoming a parent is a big decision. It was not one Michael and I took lightly. We had Kirsten after 7 years of marriage and it is a decision that we are so much richer for having made. She has helped make us stronger as individuals and as a couple. By coming into the world she helped us become our own nuclear family. Because we believe our family is the most precious thing we have we have always created a weekend of "Celebration of Kirsten". As we finish this years celebrations we realise the quarter of a century celebration is the last one we will host . Next year we will be guests as Matt takes over as her husband. The Celebration of Kirsten will continue as we are all privileged by her being in this world and creating so much good for others.
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